Thursday, July 12, 2012

An Angel Looking Down

We all know life is too short, right?   We hear it all the time, "Be all you can be", "Just do it", "Live like you were dying", "I'm not here for a long time, I'm here for a good time" etc.  We read articles about someone in another state who ruthlessly murdered their children, all the cases of cancer, deadly car accidents and more.  Why is it though that when it is someone you know, a close friend, a neighbors child or a relative it brings the meaning to a whole new level?  

Last weekend I sat with a dear friend in the hospital as we watched her 10 year old daughter, Jackie, for any signs of life.   On Friday Jackie woke up with a headache and started throwing up.   Shellie, my friend,  went to work thinking Jackie had the flu and left Jackie's older sister to watch after her.  When Shellie came home around 2 pm she went to hand Jackie some crackers for her tummy and Jackie couldn't see them.  She had lost her vision.

At the ER suddenly Jackie was in and out of consciousness and disoriented.  They sent her to Fargo immediately as they didn't know what was happening.  In Fargo she began having seizures and was intubated as she couldn't breathe well.  By Saturday evening she crashed.   The crash cart was brought in and Jackie was put on life support.   

I was at the hospital Saturday evening, Sunday and Monday.  We watched Jackie, waited for test result after test result with more grief after each report of bad news.   Monday morning they scheduled a brain scan to see if the brain was circulating blood; the final test.  I brought my rosary with that day, I happened to see it that morning at 5 am when I was getting ready to head out.   God was sending me a sign.  While Jackie was being tested I went to the chapel.  I knelt down in the front where a beautiful wooden sculpted frame of Jesus with doves floating in the breeze stood.  I don't think I have ever prayed so hard in my life.  As the tears streamed down my face I prayed Hail Mary over and over again. 

I returned to the room and shortly thereafter the doctor arrived and very bluntly said, "This is the end."  A wave of tears returned to the room.  Desperate sobbing, anger, denial and suffering were only to be seen. As Jackie was a healthy child the doctor asked about organ donation and Shellie knew Jackie would want to help other children to live if she could.  Since it is a time consuming process it wasn't until Tuesday afternoon before there was any answers.  Due to the fact that her cause of death was unknown and could have been related to a virus her organs were turned down except for one.  Another blow to the heart for Shellie and her family. 

I believe that everything happens for a reason and God has a plan.  At a recent funeral for a relative of mine, a very young man, the priest talked about how God asks us to rejoice.  "Be happy and do not mourn, for the soul is now free and with the Lord."  But, how do you rejoice when you feel it is before someones time? 
Remembering the good times, having faith that he took them for a reason.   Was something in life going to happen that was too difficult to bear?  Did Jackie's little brother need an extra angel to watch over him?  Will she reunite a struggling family and bring healing?   I don't know.   What I do know is that there is another beautiful angel, looking down, and watching over me.