Change of P(e)ace

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face for the first time in over a good week.  It felt great!  I helped Taylor get ready for school, as she insisted on a new lime green shorts and matching shirt from Grandma Mary, blue flip flops, a sparkling purple headband and a light blue sweat jacket to wear to school.  I didn't argue too much; it is nice out, and I know I did the same things as a child.  Just being able to wear summer clothes makes a person feel better some times, so I let it pass.

We strolled through the wet grass to go wait for the bus and Taylor's feet were covered  with dew.  She said, "Look mom it rained last night and now my feet are wet."  After giggling I explained to her how the grass gets dewy, and that it's not from rain.  Then she asked if snakes make the grass grow.  (this stemmed from yesterdays conversation as she said that God should kill all the snakes and I told her that everything God creates has a purpose)  I felt sort of silly at that moment as I couldn't come up with a stunning answer like I did for explaining the dew, so "I'm not really sure" seemed to work.  Now I guess I have something to google...  

After a kiss, a hug and an "I love you, have a good day at school", she flip flopped to the bus and I watched as they pulled away.  As I turned around I started to think about our, "hurry, hurry, hurry...  mom has 80 million things to do... stress, stress, stress... crabby, crabby, crabby" days that seemed to be getting all to normal.  Today I have a couple pages of a paper left to write and it will be my last one.  The stress is gone completely and not only do I notice how much better I feel, but also how my peace of mind has such an effect on my behavior and that relates to how well, or how bad, the morning could have gone.  Of course I knew this to be true before, but sometimes in all the madness in life, we forget. 

I am exstatic to say, "I am done with school", but I am happier to have my life back, my sanity back, and time for my family back.  Last night we all went for a walk on the trail that extends across our land at dusk, we saw around 20 deer, some of whom were only 50 yards away, listened to the frogs in the pond, and watched the cows rapidly run up to the fence thinking there was feed involved in the venture.  Seeing my daughters smiling face this morning, watching Brady excitedly get dressed to go out to the barn to see his dad and his puppy, and knowing I could come in and just relax if I want to, and spend the afternoon with all of them is the most peaceful feeling in the world.  It feels great to be "back"! 

All of this leads back to self-care, which is what I've been missing.  Many parts of the wheel have been gone for some time since I've been in school, but as of yesterday, my wheel will be complete once again.  When I feel good, so does my family.   What does your wheel look like?  

Simple Pleasures- (Thanks Aunt Marcia)

This morning I woke up to my children busily digging, slamming cupboard doors, and yelling, "it's not there", "look here", and "I FOUND IT" as they searched for their Easter Baskets. As I laid in bed, not wanting to get up at 6 am but knowing I had better capture some of the scene, I smiled.  Just listening to the excitement, the suprise, and the 'Oh cool's is enough to make my day. 

After reading my Aunt Marcia's blog about her simple pleasures I began to think about mine.  I don't sit and read books for entertainment much, but I definately have some simple pleasures that have been neglected since I've been in school.  Come Wednesday, they will a regular addendum to my future schedule!

#1:   Spending more time playing, teaching and learning with my children.  I love spending time with the kids in the garden, being outside, explaining how things grow, teaching them about nature, telling stories, baking or cooking with them, and playing games, especially outside.  Priceless!

#2:   Going for walks with my husband.  Eric and I used to walk down the field trail in the afternoon or at dusk to look for deer, remember and appreciate all of the work we've done and what will be done in the future, look at the trees and land, and talk about what we are planting, seeding, picking, plans for the field in the future etc.  I miss that.

#3:   Playing guitar.   I haven't picked up my guitar since Christmas.  I love to write music and just play.  I look forward to that. 

#4:  Outdoors!   I have always loved nature and outdoor activities!  Anything from camping, fishing, hunting, beaching, tanning, mowing the lawn, working in my garden, planting flowers, playing hopscotch with kids, having bonfires, playing with the animals or doing fieldwork.  Something about nature brings me some peace of mind, and I can't wait for this summer!

#5:  My alone time.  Going for walks in the early morning when it's still a little cool outside, the sun is just rising in the sky, and the sounds and sights of nature are beautiful brings me so much peace.  It gives me great thinking time, helps me feel heathier and happier, and is so healing.  I can't wait!  

I think that pretty much sums it up. Spring, summer and fall, when the weather cooperates, are busy with all these things.  These simple, free or almost free activities, bring me so much hapiness.  I am ready for all of it!   Thanks Aunt Marcia for the reminder. :~) 

For the Birds, Really!

Brady asked Eric and I the other night, "Mom, daddy, how do birds make a nest?"  Eric began to try to explain as Brady looked at him like, "Are you speaking English?"  I grabbed the computer as I heard a, "mom's on the computer again..." mumble, ignored it, and went right to utube.  I looked up, "how a bird makes a nest" and low and behold, there are multiple videos.  So, the three of us sat down and watched a few videos on how birds make nests. Very cute!  Then on the sidebar where it shows other related videos, Brady pointed at one that had Robin eggs hatching, so we had to watch it. 

Five beautiful blue robin eggs in a nest, and one begins to crack open and out pops the ugliest little bugger.  They are much prettier with feathers...but, it was neat to watch.  Pretty soon we watched turtle eggs hatching and it was the size of a quarter when it was born, so that was neat.  Next it was a dolphin that gave birth, then a giraffe, and finally we watched the development of a joey (a baby kangaroo).  Thanks once again to technology!  Instead of trying to explain like mumbling idiots, utube can show it. Great stuff! 

It's nice to be able to show kids while you explain, I think it helps so much in the learning process.  I learn things much easier when I can "see" them.  Even on a chalk board, a video, a sketching, whatever it is, I retain info. much easier.  Utube is a great resource for information, education, junk, music, almost anything.  I've used it to learn how to play songs on guitar, used videos from a Prof. at the U of M relating to Hmong Populations for a paper, and I've seen it used for promotional purposes as well.  Some of the videos might be "for the birds", but overall, it's a valuable resource and I love it! 

Delirium of a student

On April 12, 2011, Karen Crabtree, a mother of 3 children, step-mother of 2 children, wife, dairy farmer, and full-time student, was found delirious in her chair.  After multiple counts of, "Mom! Mom! Mom!" and "Karen! Karen! Karen!", from her children and husband, she lost touch with reality. 

She is plagued by massive piles of homework, fencing on the pasture, children's school conferences, Dr. appointments, 2 interviews for a research paper, a senior project, planning and co-leading a PTO meeting, expected calves, a birthday party, and Easter all within the next 2 weeks. 

Doctors predict the delerium will pass in exaclty 2 weeks with the end of school.  Until then, crazy behaviors are probable, tears may stream at any time, laughing hysterically at nothing may occur, and running in circles around the mulberry bush is likely. 

Celebratory services for her recovery are to take place on May 6th at graduation, and May 28th at a graduation party.  Please attend if possible as sanity should be reinstated by this time. 

Country Walks

This morning was commemorated with my first outdoor walk and I enjoyed every minute!  At 7:30 am, there was only a slight wind, the sun was glowing and spring was calling me.  I even made it 4 miles, all around the country block.  Thought about stopping and only doing 2 miles, but I was enjoying the time to myself so much I just kept going. 

I walked down a gravel road where the water rises and often floods the area.  Upon approach I stopped for a moment and listened to all the delightful sounds and took in the view.  Ducks were lovingly swimming side by side, red wing blackbirds were bouncing on the reeds, and sparrows were dancing in the air as they busily chased one another.  The cattails from last year were swaying slightly as a muskrat swam through them.   The sounds were amazing too!  Chirping, calling, tweeting, quacking, cooing etc.  Everything was beautiful. 

As I walked further, seven deer pranced across the field towards the woods.  I rounded the corner to the next road and several new Angus calves wanted to greet me at the edge of the fence.  I continued on to hear the bellering of their hungry mothers notifying the owners to "wake up and feed us". 

When my legs began to feel like jello, I spotted a Pussy Willow tree in the ditch. 

It was fully bloomed, or whatever you want to call it.  I carefully reached up and plucked two branches off the tree, one for each of the kids.  Remembering when I was young, I thought of how my sisters and I used to pick them from the woods when we were with my dad and bring them home.  Just as I kept walking, I passed a field full of Seagulls that were screeching loudly as they swooped down and around the water logged area.  I figured they were worm hunting, as I stared down at all the earthworms  I stepped over on the edges of the road. 

Upon turning onto the highway to finish the hike home, 2 neighbors passed by, and each of them waved as I trotted along, Pussy Willow branches in hand.  I thought to myself about how fortunate I am to live where I can listen to all the sounds of spring, watch the wildlife each day, have people who live around me that care, to be able to share some part of it with my children, and to be able to walk alone safely.  Which is probably why I love morning walks.  Nothing feels more refreshing than a little sun, good excersize, and so many affirmations as to why I love the country.  

"There is sanctuary in being alone with nature."  Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Completing One Day at a Time

A week of finalizing and accomplishments coming to an end...  Yes!!!  My position as a liaison for the NASW has ended as the event "Day at the Capital" was on Monday and was a final hoorah for the social work club this year.  Hearing Governor Dayton speak was such a treat, and I enjoyed the day.  However, my meeting with Senator Hoffman was less than impressive.  Tea Party politics may have affected her ability to just be personable...  I was greeted by complete rudeness and rebutted with inacurate information, with her refusal to listen.  However, I was still polite despiter her brass attitude and thanked her even though I really wanted to shake her and say, "Do you understand what the effects of the cuts you're proposing will do to those children???"  regarding child protective services cuts.  

Yesterday we celebrated the retirement of a phenomenal professor in the Social Work program at BSU.  She has been a professor here for almost 30 years and is just a spitfire!  I will miss her dearly, along with my other professors, new friends, and all the learning that takes place...  But onto new and brighter pastures!
Last night I plugged away three more papers, so the countdown is on.  Only 17 days left of the madness and a heck of a lot of work to do.  If I can roll them out like I did last night I know I'll be fine.  Just gotta keep that momentum going!!

Today I am co-hosting a Single Payer Healthcare Forum in Bemidji which is exciting!  We have two presenters, one a Physicians Assistant and the other a Dr., coming from the cities.  It's purely educational and we have no way of knowing how many people, or who, will show up.   Could be blown up by Tea Partiers in the media so we are supposed to "be prepared for backlash".  Oh well...  I believe that healthcare should be a right and not a privilege, and that all people should be able to afford it, and have equal access.  If it's a crime, then I'm guilty and guess I'll deal with the consequences.  So, lots to get done, so I better get a move on. 

Time

Time is such a valuable resource that lately I have been wishing I have more of it.  Only 3 weeks of class left and an abundance of work...  ugh.  Summer is approaching and we are trying to plan a family camping trip/ Well, Becky has been doing the brunt of it, to no avail.  Between available campgrounds and date interuptions it has been quite the process, and I wish I could make it all work out wonderfully, but I can't.  Such is life sometimes... 

I have been frustrated with Bemidji State as I am graduating with a 3.87 cumulative GPA and which doesn't qualify me for graduating with honors due to their policy requirements of 50 credits.  I will have 48 from BSU and 12 coming with my internship, but apparently that doesn't matter.  And there is no appeal process, which is a load of crap if you ask me.  Sorry for the negativity, but I am frustrated!  In addition, I was utterly unimpressed with my legislator that I met with yesterday who could benefit from some interpersonal skills. 

So, positive thoughts...   Three years ago I wasn't planning on school.  Two years ago I thought this time would never come.  Three weeks from now I will be graduating.  By the end of July I will have a job,  hopefully.  My children are wonderful, talented and smart.  My husband is wonderful and supportive, but lately is frustrated with my busy schedule, which is understandable.  Additionally, I am ready for bed after a long day, and only have one meeting tomorrow with the rest of the day off.  :~)  This makes me happy, even though there is an abundance of work to do.   In good time... 

Learning Experiences

An insane week to say the least, but full of great experience!  Three interviews, a short TV3 session, grant meeting, field trip planning, forum planning, class, homework etc.  As crazy as my schedule has been, I've had some excellent opportunities in college, and feel very fortunate that I've been able to take advantage of them.  That being said, I also can't wait till it's all over!!!

I have decided to accept an internship at Headwaters Intervention Center.  Here is the executive director, who is a fabulous woman I must say.  She is fairly new and implementing all kinds of wonderful changes to steer the organization in a positive direction.  I am very impressed!  The organization offers a plethora of opportunities, projects, community involvement and each day brings a new challenge.  I love a challenge, like the flexibility, want to work with the community, and will be able to do more grant writing.  All around, I look forward to all the things that I will learn from the experience!  

I do have some reservations, however, I believe that I am strong enough to handle the situation.  As they are an organization that deals with domestic abuse, they do have walk ins where women have arived covered in bruises, with or without children, and the staff are the immediate interventionists.   Intimidating, yes.  However, I do believe that everything happens for a reason and while I was interviewing, it all just seemed to feel right.  So here's to the best!  Now, the countdown is on.  Only 11 days of driving to Bemidji left, graduation, then internship!!!!   I can't wait.  :~)