Wednesday, May 9, 2012

God's Plan

Two days ago I sat here and wrote on my blog with tears streaming down my face and today I can't stop smiling!   God's grace is amazing.  

With the upcoming loss of our farm we have been wondering, "Will we be homeless... what do we do... can we stay in the same area... where do we move to?"   This led to an extensive housing search.  One of the options that arose was that Eric's Uncle, who lives in Tennessee, owns a home a few miles away from our place and it was up for sale.   It was Eric's Grandpa's home before he passed away and we were very close to his Grandpa and visited often.   We talked to Eric's Uncle about renting, but since he was in Tennessee he really wasn't keen on it.

After a day of thinking, exploring options and lots of prayers we thought about our potential to buy.   While most common routes of homebuying went out the window due to our current situation, we thought contract for deed might be an option.   Needless to say, before we even lose one property we are purchasing another!

The house is bigger and in better shape than our current home with three bedrooms, one bathroom, a large entryway addition and also a finished two stall garage. There is 11 acres which is enough to play in the garden, maybe raise a couple calves and chickens etc.   Our next door neighbor is Eric's cousin who is a great guy and some of our closest friends will be only 1 mile one direction and a few miles the other direction.   

Even though the loss of the farm is devastating, I couldn't have asked for a better outcome.  Buying Grandpa's house, having wonderful friends as neighbors, a bigger/in better shape home, kids in the same school district, and not having to claim bankruptcy all in the same bundle. 

Moral of the story is that God always has a plan and I truly believe he has been watching out for us, with Grandpa nudging his side of course.  ;~)   Hallelujah!!!

Monday, May 7, 2012

Values and Freedom

I've been trying to console myself, feeling pretty self absorbed in my own anger, fear and sorrows this week.   But, watching season two of Little House on the Prairie and listening to a family talk about how loosing their home was insignificant as they were able to live in America, the land of freedoms, facilitated a substantial emotional impact on me.   Thoughts of, "How could they be so positive in such a dire situation?" lead to, "They're right.  It's never over.  It's never too late to make a new start.  We are fortunate to live here and experience freedoms when many are never allowed the opportunity!"  A wake up call... 

After over three years of battling the forces of nature, unforseen disasters, a monetary recession, rising costs of living and business and trying to raise a family and simply survive, our farming expedition is coming to an end.  The battle of values, ethics and survival now hinges upon our minds and the outcome  may lead to loosing our home.  What is the honorable thing- to sell out everything and hope to make enough to pay everyone off.  Is it realistic- probably not.  What is the selfish thing- claim bankruptcy and not care if others are affected knowing we might be able to keep our home.  Values and ethics.... why can't this be easier. 

Finding peace with a decision has been difficult for Eric and I.  There is no easy out and there is no consoling answers.  Looking ahead to try to grasp onto some sense of resiliency is difficult.  As I think about the situation I find myself humbled.  Looking forward to the opportunity to start over, improving our lives through a new faucet, remembering our freedoms and grabbing onto all the hope we can needs to take precedent. 

Conjumbled feelings, emotions and thoughts can lead to regretable decision making, so how do we make decisions regarding life at these times and what is right?  I find myself pondering on this; waiting for some grandiose idea or option to hit me, but it hasn't. 

While God is carrying us through this time in our life, I think about his footsteps in the sand and wonder which way they are leading.  Either way, I know that he will keep my family safe, housed, fed, clean, educated, free to speak and write and much more.  Wherever the path may lead,  I pray for understanding, healing and guidance for my family and am thankful for all that I have.

Values are not about land, business, pride or money... they are about love, humility, freedom and faith.