We may have a temporary new addition to the family! Yesterday a young, very pregnant, and very alone girl I know called from a womans shelter in Fargo. Long story but the jist is that her family is a mess and struggling to deal with their own issues, they thought it would be best to leave her there to "grow up" and she's a senior in high school that is almost 7 months pregnant. I will NEVER understand some decisions that people make...
I talked to Eric and am giving him some time to think about it as I know this would be an adjustment. So I told him he needs to tell me by noon today. :~) However, I don't think I would be able to live with myself knowing I could have helped and didn't. Even though our house is small, we have a couch she can sleep on, she knows us and the kids very well, she'll have a place to do homework and I know that I can help her get her life in order. After talking with her, I believe she is ready to make some changes, which don't involve her family.
Frustrating part: Because she is a senior she feels like in order to get her own place to live because she has no one and is expecting a baby that she is going to have to drop out of school. She thinks she could finish later, but she is so close to graduating! The effects of being 18, no high school diploma, and having a baby are devastating in the long and short run. We discussed some options and I think that if we can get enough help lined up this week that she can stay in school. The bus would come out here and get here due to the McKinney Vento Act- something I learned in school- which is great! Will go see a man about a horse, or housing I mean, and see what is available from the state I guess. As she is still in high school this might be more complicated than I think, hopefully not. I am thinking it will take about a month or so to get her on her own two feet, which would be great as then she would have 1 month to settle in before the baby would arrive.
Overall, it might be "inconvenient" for us, but I truly believe that this would be the most beneficial for her. Now to finish convincing my husband... :~)
Wow, Karen. You guys are so, so generous. And I feel horrible for this young woman. I agree that it is important for her to get her diploma. Maybe you can make that a condition of you helping her? I know it sucks to feel like you are ordering her around, but she needs some direction in her life, and if you are going to help her with housing and stuff I think it's only fair that you expect her to get herself at least to a point where she can get a decent job.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, and I hope you all find the help that you will need to get through this!
Strange how pregnant girls think they cannot continue with school...it is very common! She obviously needs encouragement to see outside her box. Can't she get general assistance, which pays enough for cheap rent, + WIC for nourishing food? Schools have funding or there are alternative schools for pregnant teens who don't want to be in the standard schools.
ReplyDeleteI am volunteering at the museum booth this weekend at the Perham Area Trade and HomeShow. Having been a pregnant teen myself, I would be glad to try to encourage the girl, if you want. Sometimes people cannot see beyond where they are at.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the comments more than I can say! Basic problem, General assistance does not pay more than rent anymore... cutbacks at the state level and rising costs to living. Looking into low income housing, but there are waiting lists and the funding is still a problem. She is going to finish schooling at her normal school which is her wish and is an option. I believe that I have encouraged her, she didn't think that we would get near as much accomplished today as what we did. Still a long way to go though... Need to keep looking for housing and income options to sustain her till graduation in May. But, I would love to talk to you about it aunt Marcia! As I was also a pregnant teen, this hits close to home for me too. Hopefully we will find some answers... :~)
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